First half of 2016? (Spoilers: It’s messy)

Well we’re halfway through and it’s safe to say it’s been an eventful year! It seems only yesterday I was looking up at the fireworks in Queenstown foolishly excited for what would turn out to be the strangest six pages of a calendar so far (in my lifetime anyway!).


‘After all this time? Always’
For any hardcore Potter junkie that line would’ve choked them up since first reading it. 2016 has decided that it had lost it’s novelty and began furiously killing off many popular figures including one of my favourite actors, Alan Rickman. The distinguishable, dry voice of Mr Hans Gruber himself will sadly never be spoken again.
Speaking of voices we lost several legends of music in 2016’s early killing spree with David Bowie biting the dust and Prince also leaving this earth.
Other notable figures include the unforgettable Muhammad Ali, Ronnie Corbett, Harper Lee and Terry Wogan. It doesn’t seem to be ending any time soon either with Caroline Aherne recently losing her battle with cancer. It’s got to the point where if someone is trending on twitter I automatically assume they’ve been beaten by this year too.

‘Some men just want to watch the world burn’
Death isn’t just for the famous either. This year has been a bloody one, there’s no way of denying that. An event that got a lot of coverage in the media was the deadly, homophobic attack at Pulse night club in Orlando, Florida where the mentally ill Omar Mateen (interestingly already on the FBI’s person of interest list) managed to kill 49 people and injure many others. Meanwhile the news were busy showing personal texts from victims to their families to the entire world in their last minutes along with throwing distraught mothers on TV like the vultures they forever portray themselves to be.

Then there’s this week’s events in Dallas with racial hatred hitting the papers. With all the killing from some American police officers against black people – protests quite rightly formed yet resulting in utter chaos which led to five police officers murdered. Figureheads throughout America are suggesting prayer and the like. Stop being so effing stupid and sort your gun laws out or it will happen again and again. Sitting in reflection isn’t going to stop ‘crazy Dave’ on the next block buying a shiny new hand piece, is it?

Not forgetting the largest threat to peace (what’s that again?) right now – ISIS weren’t exactly adorable puppies last year but it seems they’ve successfully managed to ride the disastrous wave of 2016 for their own benefit. Atrocities in Brussels and the largest casualty hitting Baghdad among many other attacks around the world including the Lahore bombings from the Pakistani Taliban – they’ve successfully planted fear into our heads with the jolly old help of several tabloid newspapers (cough, The Sun) helping to fuel thoughts that the middle eastern bloke from down the road must be in on it too.


Speaking of the influence of the media, that leads us straight to Brexit. Surely, both sides of the debate weren’t expecting the circus that followed. Racism up by a dramatic percentage throughout the country, Farage and Boris gone, the pound is at the lowest value in decades, promises from the leave campaign have already been broken, Katie Hopkins still exists and now an out of touch government are deciding which Thatcher fossil they want to be the new Prime Minister. From my perspective Thatcher clearly left a few Horcruxes around to finish her work. Meanwhile other political parties have hit the self destruct button just to add a bit more fun to the party.. IT’S ONLY BEEN TWO WEEKS! We’ve really embarrassed ourselves here and I’m sure many ‘leavers’ will agree that this hasn’t gone exactly like they’d hoped…


‘Whoever wins…we lose’
Like I said, this year is far from over. We’ve got the big finale between Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump coming up later this year and I for one can’t wait to see the results of a lying, manipulative, untouchable witch versus a deluded, mentally unstable, orange faced arsehole. Sprinkle that with a bit more violence and chaos and we’ve done The Joker proud as a planet this year! We did it guys!
But hey, chin up! It hasn’t all been bad, I mean we’ve had Snapchat faceswapping haven’t we? Or ‘Chewbacca Mom’? She was fun…
Well at least the weather is nice…? I give up.



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