We’re all just a bunch of kids!

“You imbecile. I’m trying to watch Hanks Zipser the greatest show of all time” – a response from my glowing, lovely little eight year old sister when I attempt to ask her how her first day back at school was as her eyes have made an unbreakable bond with her ipad.


Why shouldn’t this be the correct response to such an open question? Back at her age I sat on my gameboy ignoring the exact same question, it was just a lot less colourful than it is now. Then I got thinking, what would happen if nobody matured from that age? Where would our world be at?


Sure, y’know…an obvious excuse is to look no further than global politics right now (Donald Trump as exhibit A but he’s an easy target). End of post. No, I’d prefer to look a bit more into it, where would we be at with music? Films? Literature? Religion? I could go on!


First off – the economy
On paper it all seems quite obvious that children in charge of the economy would be a huge disaster from day one. Screaming at the top of their lungs that they want more money for cool things. I’m sure we’d find out sooner or later that Timmy has been storing some of the money given by his mother to get sweets for his friends and instead spending it all on just himself. Luckily we’re in an economic paradise with nothing dodgy going on and everyone sharing the wealth to better and enrich the world around them. What a…


Okay, what about religion?
Wow, like imagine religious cultures had been built and maintained by children! We’d be in a ridiculous kerfuffle right now surely, full of doubt at the collapse of many established and respected groups as the children who ran them decided not to adapt to modern and sensible steps forward, instead opting to set the whole bloody ball pit on fire. You’d probably get many of all religions (let’s throw the atheists in there too) collectively throwing poop at each other for disagreeing with their beliefs. It’s a good job we have tolerance of all religions and everyone respects each other’s ideologies. What a load…


Films & Literature are safe, surely?
This could go either way if children ran entertainment of all mediums. We’d probably get a lot of the same ideas but trying to outdo the other each time, kind of like a reboot. I can see it now – they’d probably throw a few pointless explosions in for a laugh and have their toy cars smash into each other for two hours. I guess we had a lucky escape there! Better yet – imagine children were on the bestselling book lists! They’d probably think it’d be funny to throw around words like ‘boobs’ and try to describe sex  with the only idea they have of the act is watching two different colours of play dough unfortunately mesh with the other. What a load of…

Maybe there really isn’t much difference between us adults and children. Is there perhaps a slow decline of maturity in the current group of generations, possibly correlating with factors such as the various options of ‘entertainment’ at the tips of our fingers and immature worries such as ‘how much is acceptable to spend on a freemium game?’ (the correct answer is nothing) or ‘what’s this dickhead doing on Britain’s got talent?’.
What a load of hogwash…




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